Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
