It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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