Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
