Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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