Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
