Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
