normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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