I'm gonna have a badass scar
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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