one two three fourrrrnication!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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