I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
