You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize