I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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