You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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