she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
