proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize