She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
