Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
