Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
