Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
