My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
