I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
