you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
