I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
