If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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