Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
