This house was built for laser tag.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
