she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
