looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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