Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I have already put on my inside pants.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
