Pants 0. Shit 1.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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