ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
