Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
