That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
