his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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