3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
