The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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