Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Houston, we have a squirter
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
