in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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