just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
