I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize