She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
