I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
