i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you would pick up someone in the library
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
