Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Holy shit dude........stairs
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
