i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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