It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
