Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
