He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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