the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
