my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I want her autograph on my taint
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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