If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize