where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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