We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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