he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
