walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize