So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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