Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
