? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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